

April Fools – The Lag is Back, Baby!
Date:
April 1, 2025We've heard your cries. We've seen your pain. The server has been running too well. 32 render distance? Vanilla mob rates? 20 TPS at all times?! Absolutely unacceptable.
Clearly, we over-fixed the lag, and it has ruined the experience. We understand now that lag wasn't just a bug—it was a feature. So, after much consideration, we've made the only reasonable decision:
We're rolling back the performance update!
Effective immediately:
- Render distance back to 6. Enjoy the fog.
- Mobs spawning like it's 2013. You'll get what you get.
- TPS? Who knows. Anything higher than 10 is just unnatural.
- Block lag and delayed combat? Back by popular demand.
#BringBackTheLag #20TPSWasTooFast #TrueMinecraftExperience #LagIsLove #LagIsLife #WeWillFixItByBreakingIt #EnjoyTheRollback
— Your (clearly out-of-touch) Server Team
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